A Newfound Mass

Now, almost 8 years later, I really miss baseball on the radio. But only when I think of you, and only when I think of how much I miss you.

Sometimes, while sleeping, I will sit cross legged with the pillows on my lap and my upper half draped over them. When I was little and my parents would check on me, they would find me like that and get startled. My mom would shake me like I was in some sort of trance. Years later, Mimi would find me like this on her Brooklyn floor, chalking it up to drunken exploits I imagine. Even years after that, Gavin would find me in the same position. He shook me in a panic, "No babe, wake up. Please, wake up." Hahaha..

Potential of possibility realized

Irony can be really, really funny and also incredibly tragic. It is of course the tragedy of it that gets me going. It's the part about loving someone who is far away, and loving one's own life, or one's own city too much to make love by leaving it. It's also the part about love living in one's hormones (I feel that love is an evolutionary survival mechanism, existing only to aid in perpertuating the human race) yet it is such a poweful force, a real thing that must be reckoned with everyday. Sometimes it is dangerous and sometimes gentle. Sometimes it is troublesome because it is present in one's life, and sometimes because it is gone, Daddy, gone. But, it is always on our minds and in our heart and is often the strongest motivational factor in our day-to-night-to-day existence.

- Stella

things to look at

lina scheynius





flannery o'connor

Because life is stupid.

"1. LESSONS

When I was thirteen, I learned about guilt. Jesse had to teach me. I had no natural instict for it all. Even learning was difficult, but Jesse was such a guilt-ridden kid and he walked me through it step by step.

When I was twenty-three, Ashley taught me about anxiety. You could say she walked me through it step by step also, although just like guilt with Jesse, I was the one who had asked.

About a year later, I started sighing. It was in a Texas squat that my first sigh came. Like a ship leaving harbor, as I have said before, heavy with sadness and yet thoroughly satisfying.

Sigh. My best friend left and then my girl-friend left, but the anxiety and guilt stayed. Why? Because life is stupid."

- Aaron Cometbus

There ain't nothing that I need.

Matthew Rose

Care of Christy:

And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

sometimes I think the only answer is to leave...